I don't understand what is wrong with some men.. They have this sense of entitlement like we owe them something. They think they own us, we're their property. Some guys can't take a hint whatsoever. If I'm not responding to your texts repeatedly, for days on end, I probably don't want to talk to you. I want nothing to do with you. You need to leave me alone. I'm not interested and I owe you NO explanation as to why I'm not responding to you or where I have been. Some men think it's okay to just force themselves on women. They think they have the right to do whatever they please. If I say no, I mean no. If I say don't touch me, I mean Don't Touch Me. It has become so typical nowadays for a guy to just throw himself on a girl against her will, that many people actually consider it okay. So many girls just give in to asshole men who pressure them and it's not one bit okay. Even better though is the double standard with men and women. Men can do whatever they want and it's absolutely fine because they're men. A guy can throw himself at a girl and people see it as normal, but if a girl throws herself at a guy, she's either desperate, a slut or crazy. A guy can have sex with multiple womem and they get high fived, but if a girl does it she's a whore. And why? Because society has made it that way. If a girl gets raped, it's because she did something to provoke a man. That is the most disgusting peice of crap I've ever heard. If a girl gets raped, it's because the guy who did it is a monster and that is that. I don't care if I or anyone else is walking down the street completely nude, No man has the right to touch or do anything.

I am not saying all men are bad, there are many good men out there, kudos to you.

But the ones I just described should either fix their issues or go to hell.

July 10, 2014

Dear Diary

In a dark place, hearing nothing but words of corruption, afraid of losing another one. I'm too ashamed to cry but I can't stop the tears. I'm trying to stop the feelings running within. Don't look at me, don't touch me, don't act like a friend and haunt me in the end. My thoughts are going off into sick places, where can I hide? Let me go to sleep. Let go of my heart. Your hold on me is killing me softly. So slowly, dig deeper, inside me, decline me. Choking on my flowing tears, crawling on the wooden floor trying to find a safe hole to bury myself, bury myself in the dirt, in your crimson blood, in the shadow of what once so beautifully was. Head exploding, heart imploding, pulling your hair out chunk by chunk. Screw you, go to hell, drown me in this twenty foot well. You wanted me to let my walls down, let my guard down. Am I vulnerable enough now? Was I vulnerable enough then? When you left me to bury my sorrows in the ground. Left my regrets floating around in my head? Amongst my thoughts covered up by my lies, when I told anyone who asked that I was alright. What I've been doing all this time...

April 15, 2014

Valentine's Day at Ameoba Records

I spent Valentine's Day with two of my favorite loves, my wonderful aunt, and music. We went to Amoeba records and, for about an hour or two, immersed ourselves in the many different kinds of music around. Amoeba is, in my opinion, one of the greatest record stores on the planet, the one in Hollywood being the biggest. They probably have every singer/musician you can imagine. I'm a huge fan of jazz and rock, I just admire those types of music. Their jazz section is huge and has at least five or six rows of amazing, solid artists. Some of my personal favorites are Bille Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, the list could on and on. Their rock section though... wow. That, alone, is probably bigger than my entire house. They have probably have every band you could think of, old, new, well known, underground, punk, grunge, indie, one hit wonders, all time favorites, everything. They have such reasonable prices too. They actually have a section for rock that is under five dollars, and it's not just stuff nobody wants, it's amazing! I've bought so much fabulous music from that section, everything from Oasis, Nirvana and Simon and Garfunkel to bands with unbelievable sounds I've never heard before! I'm the type of person who likes to take a risk and buy music that has cool cover art and/or band names becaue I take an interest in it and am curious to hear the music. I usually discover some pretty great music that way. This time, I was feeling quite experimental and found two CDs of bands I had never heard of before. They had great artwork, one was French, (I actually found that in the French section) I liked the names and they were on sale, so hell yeah! Why not? I would highly suggest anyone who is into rock to take a listen to both of them actually. Les Sequelles is a French band that plays awesome 60's cocktail rock. I'm actually rocking out to it right now as I write this. The other band is called Dirty Pretty Things. It's an English band and they have a great sound, as well as lyrics and vocals. My aunt and I also have a love for French music, so we checked out the French section, as I mentioned before. My two favorite French singers are Josephine Baker and Edith Piaf. They had a lot of Edith, but we had a harder time finding Josephine. After looking in the Jazz and French section and discovering nothing, we asked an extremely accommodating employee who led us right to her in the pop vocal section. (Pop vocal? Really? She does not belong there) But there was indeed an entire section of her music! I don't think I've ever left Amoeba empty handed. So much temptation! I love it. Pretty well spent day. I would suggest anyone who hasn't been there to go immediately. (Yes, I have met those people) It's heaven on earth for anyone who loves music. Pretty well spent day. ;)

February 17, 2014

Second Spin Records

 Happy New Year guys! I spent yesterday, the second day of 2014 shopping at a record/cd store with a friend. Second Spin Records, it's on Ventura Blvd. I really suggest you check it out. They had this crazy sale. I got the new Queens of The Stoneage album and Nine Inch Nails' With Teeth for under ten dollars. So great. I don't care what people say about how apparently great new technology, ipods and downloading music are, cds and records will always be the greatest. I'm listening to Nine Inch Nails'  With Teeth at the moment on my cd player/boom box as I'm writing it and I don't think any new technology could even begin to portray the sentimentality as an entire cd or record does.

And on that note... Have a great year guys! :)

January 3, 2o14

Back to Pete's

I went back to Pete's Candy Store, this time alone, to hear some music. When I got there, this guy was singing and playing guitar. I think he goes by Robert Leslie. Man, that guy was pretty great. His voice was fantastic, he sounded like he belonged in Oasis or something. He covered a few songs, one being a Simon and Garfunkle song and he played some of his original stuff. Each set of lyrics was perfect for what the song was. He even hd a song about Justin Bieber, not hating on him, but acknowledging the fact that he never got a childhood, he never gets to make his own decisions and he is always in the public eye. Part of the lyrics went something like, "If I were to send you a postcard, would you be the one to write back?" and the rest were just brilliant as well. His voice catered to whatever he was singing, if it was a softer, more melodic song, his voice was extremely pretty and if it was a louder faster song, he could belt. The best part was, I talked to him after and he actually wasn't a douche bag! He was really nice and pretty charming. 

I looked him up as soon as I got home. This guy is definitely worth checking out, so here you go!

December 20, 2013

Loved Ones

So, I had a good relaxing afternoon today..Went to the Natural History Museum with a friend to see the space show, then walked through Central Park and went to the Met for a few hours. I love it there, the paintings are so wonderful and I saw a pretty awesome weird, show thing. I bought some nice postcards as well. Eventually, I left and walked back through Central Park nearly slipping the whole time on ice as it was getting dark. Not the safest thing in the world.. I'm glad I got to relax at least a bit today, enjoy the art and the company of a new friend, because once I got back to the real world and the people around, reality slapped me in the face. I've always had this stupid thing where I make friends easily and I become close to some people fairly quickly. At least ninety-nine percent of the time, that screws me over. There are people in my life whom I am extremely close to and I hope to have around for a very long time, but others.. You are sitting, laughing and enjoying conversations about your day and funny stories together one second, and the next.. Boom, they're gone. Not in your life anymore. You need to make new friends to fill that void just for the process to repeat itself over and over again. There are certain people I could not imagine my life without and I would be, not only shocked, but devastated if I lost them, but I'm sort of expecting it sooner that later. I hope it doesn't have to be that way with everyone, some of the people in my life are far too dear to me and I couldn't bear to lose them, but if it happens.. Well.. It's going to happen. It always does. I don't mean to sound so negative and I know this happens to everyone, but this has pretty much become a weekly thing for me.. As much as I love the company of some of my loved ones and dear friends, I'd prefer to be alone mostly nowadays. Not because I was wronged or betrayed by any of these lovely people, not because I don't trust them or don't enjoy their company, but because I'm tired of this repeating process of people disappearing after being there for you the second or the day before. I am the only one who I know will never leave me, not because I don't want to.. Because I really do want to sometimes, but because I don't have a choice.

December 16, 2013

Pete's Candy Store

My friend and I went down to Pete's Candy Store the other night to see my other friend's band, Skies, play, who were really great by the way. While we were walking there, I wasn't sure where we were going or if I had been there before. The area was pretty empty, but it looked a bit familiar. We found the little bar, walked in and sat down. It was dimly lit and the stage was in the back behind a door. When my other friend and her band came in, we went to the back room where the stage was. We walked into the narrow, hallway-like little room and I realized I had been there before. The last time I was there, I had had a bit to drink and I was messing around on that same stage. I love that little black stage so much, with the small, round bulbed light arched over it and the red surrounding walls. My friend and I sat right in the front, taking in all the music and writing in our little notebooks, her sipping on her gin and me on my whine. We watched my friend's band play and then this other girl, Antonette, who was also quite good. It was a pretty great night.

December 11, 2013